So you want to stay on the same crappy salary for the rest of your life? Does the thought of being well respected and well paid make you feel sick?

Don’t worry, we have created a 5 step guide to NEVER getting a raise.

1 – Tell your boss how wasted you got last night

We all like to have a drink from time to time. But telling your boss about it is not going to earn you anything more than a lack of trust. Remember, next time you are genuinely ill, your boss will remember your drinking stories and won’t believe you. Keep your drunken stories out of the work place.

2 – Always claim that nothing is your fault

When you are presented with a problem, do not deflect blame to someone else. The boss just wants a solution to the problem, and frankly, doesn’t care who’s fault it was. Finger pointing isn’t going to do you any favors with your work colleagues either.

3 – Accept every task… even if you are never going to complete it

Accepting a task and not completing it will give you a reputation as an unreliable person. If you feel you are not likely to complete the task in time be honest, your decisions impact those around you as well, so bear this in mind.

4 – Talk behind people’s backs

If you have a secret, keep it a secret. Perhaps you know what the boss earns per year, perhaps you know about an office affair? Whatever it is, keep it to yourself.

5 – Discuss your political beliefs

The old adage that you shouldn’t discuss politics is as true today as ever before. Even if the conversation doesn’t result in an argument, you never know whom you’re making uncomfortable or who will hold your views against you.

Summary: There you have your 5 step guide to NEVER Getting a Raise. We hope you enjoy a rubbish career for many years to come.